Breaking Bad

"Too much of a good thing is never enough" - Mae West

"Too much of a good thing is never enough" - Mae West

I once went nearly three years without eating carbohydrates. No bread, no pasta, no crackers and nothing more than fresh berries and whipped cream for dessert. My face was chiseled and I sported lean muscle cuts in my arms, abs and quads. My very first pair of Seven for All Mankind jeans were a size 25. Yep, between August 2002 and June 2005 I was very thin.

When you eliminate practically all sugar from your diet a funny thing happens - you lose your appetite. There were many days that I would forget to eat lunch until well past 2PM. The surest indicators that it was time for food were dizziness and low grade rage. If I had to the urge to kill I ate a piece of cheese. Sorted. 

During this time I went to Las Vegas with girlfriends. As is my custom, I lost my voice between Friday night and Saturday morning. We're talking no talking. Barks, maybe. And a wheeze. Saturday evening, after a super cute guy in the taxi line looked at me pitifully as I tried to explain my condition, I benched myself. Alone in the hotel room I ordered Mean Girls and room service. Cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate mousse later I experienced a wave of simple bliss I'd hadn't felt in years - satiation. My stomach was full. It was the best night of my party girl life. 

Yesterday I purchased a new pair of black pants and red flats. There is something so sweet about shopping. A crisp handled J.Crew tote. Fresh garments exquisitely folded in tissue paper. A proper shoe box. Shopping raises my dopamine level. 

Completely giving up shopping feels a little bit like Atkins. Yes, my closet is lean and I am oh-so-disciplined about spending money. But isn't it the slightest bit control-freaky? A little fanatical? Am I denying myself an inherent right to pleasure? Perhaps. But at least I'm not eating the toppings off pizza anymore. 

Outfit details: Chloe sunglasses (2015); J.Crew Perfect Shirt (2010); Max Studio ruched skirt (2012); Hermes scarf as belt (2013); Loeffler Randall Industry Bag (2014); Matthew Bernson suede booties (2015)